" Amy Lousia Wilde is one of my dearest friends in New York City. I fell in love with her because of her sense of humor, willingness to have an authentic conversation, and her insatiable appetite for success that comes from within. Amy's plant-based practices and intimate job fields made her the perfect person to start a discussion about food and intimacy."
1. Define intimacy.
Intimacy is vulnerability. The vulnerability to show yourself, to cut away all the bullshit and admit your desires to be wanted, to belong. Intimacy is the feeling that someone else is truly seeing you for you. Intimacy is messy and imperfect. It's feeling a drop of someones else sweat drip onto your skin and seeing it as nothing other than a gift. It's the touch of a lover that leaves a tingle on your skin even after the moment has passed. It's the smells that instantly creates the sensation of home and the feeling of warmth.
2. How do you think food and intimacy relate?
To feed others and be fed in return is such an intimate thing. In a society where we place our genuine well-being on the low end of the spectrum of priorities, and what we place in our bodies for nourishment becomes less important than our busy, important lives. In a world of fast food and meal replacement, creating a meal for a loved one truly means that I respect and care for your wellbeing. It doesn't get more intimate than that.
3. At TAK, we believe the importance of a homemade meal and eating around a table is what is missing in our society, but where do you think our generation's intimacy lacks?
In so many aspects, we lack basic intimacy. Everyday I witness customers not making eye contact with baristas as they order coffee, couples holding hands yet both glued to the screen of a cell phone, people pushing past one another, rushing for the subway. We supplement this lack of intimacy with distractions, everything from social network likes to porn. But I feel we mainly lack the intimacy you need to have internally. You can't create something with someone unless you've manifested it within yourself first. Know your body, know your mind, be gentle with yourself, respect yourself. In turn you can create that with others.
4. If sex were a meal, what would it be?
It would be messy, nourishing and fun. It would be the sticky, sweetness of ripe strawberries and the smooth, creaminess of a dark chocolate. It would be the light playfulness of a tart spring salad and the comforting warmness of a filling winter stew.
5. You work in two very intimate fields, one as a yoga teacher and the other as a dominatrix, is food something that is often used as a channel to create an even safer space?
Totally. I have clients within the Dominatrix realm that like to explore their relationship with food as many of us have certain hang ups and unhealthy habits with what we eat. In yoga, one of the ideas I explore often is how can we work hard and be gentle at the same time. How can you be soft and strong? Honoring our bodies means being mindful of what you're putting in it, how you're choosing to eat.
6. And to end things, Tell us about an intimate experience you had over a meal?
The most intimate experience I've ever had over a meal was so simple, yet so meaningful. There was no wining and dining, no hours slaving away over a stove. In the early hours of the morning, I was lying with a lover, drifting in and out of sleep, sex and conversation. As the sun started to rise, it was clear we weren't going to be leaving the bed anytime soon. He got up and made me the simplest of breakfasts - black coffee and toast with peanut butter and honey. We laughed as the honey melted off the toast and onto our bodies and paid no attention to the drips of coffee staining the white sheets. The meal was simple, common, familiar, yet the intention of someone wanting to refuel you so they can consume more of you was where the intimacy laid.